its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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