i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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