NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
