feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
