just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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