they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
false alarm. still invincible.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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