Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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