He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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