What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize