Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
