Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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