yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
