Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize