Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
