Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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