Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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