ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
