Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet he comes in French.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
