so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
