Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
