it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
