I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
