Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
