so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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