I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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