I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
