he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
