I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
