I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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