This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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