Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
