You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
