your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
