saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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