You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
