I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
