This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
