Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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