So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
