you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
