Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize