Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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