Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my sisters under your porch take her home
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
