I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
