I'm really into asian looking animals
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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