When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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