You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
