tequila makes me forget i have legs
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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