I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
