We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
