This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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