Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
