wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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