i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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