so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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