Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
