Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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