ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
