Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
