You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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