i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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