i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
