Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
