but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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